Thoughts in General

Really people gotta act so childish and say things that aren't true, get peoples emotions all worked up for nothing. Thanks for being such a "great" friend. It just seems they only say those things to hurt people.

 Moving on..

Karlee has got so big on me. She will be 3 in a few weeks. She is talking so clear and became Ms. Talkative. She has my sleeping pattern which I need to break me and her of. A little over a year she will be starting school. I am going to cry like a big baby, I already see it coming. I really don't know what else to write tonight..

Have a good night everyone!

Lost

Why do I even try anymore. I have gave him all my all and I still get treated like crap. Yea, he tells me he loves me, but does he really? I mean I used to get a bunch of the same things that girls do cherish. Maybe I am asking for too much from someone who has never seem to have a girlfriend who treats him good. I have pushed away my closest friends to show to him how devoted I am to this relationship. I know we had our problems but our communication just seems to be breaking down further and further. I really don't know what to do anymore. I am about to say fuck it all. Something has to change or I am walking away of almost 2 years of hard work. People keep asking me why do I put up with this craziness and I am starting to ask myself the same thing. I really don't know what to tell them. What should I tell them??

Heaven Gained Another Angel

My pregnancy started out just as a normal pregnancy. I wasn't ready for another child, I am not the type of person that will stop what ever happens. I was eating alot more than normal and the baby's father noticed that I was eating a lot. He kept pointing out to me that I was pregnant, and I didn't want to believe him. So, just to prove him wrong, I saved up a few dollars and got a at home pregnancy test. On Mother's Day 2009, my world changed once again. I took the test that morning and that's when I learned I was going to be a mom again. I was scared, nervous, and all the other feelings a woman has when they find out they are pregnant. He was excited about being a dad for the first time, it was my second child. The happiness soon ended,  a few weeks later, I started having cramps, I thought they were from something I ate that day, then the pains got worst, then the spotting started.  I was scared as hell then. I didn't know what was going on, never really experienced complications like this before during my first pregnancy. The bleeding became more intensified over the next few hours. On 6-26-09 at 2am, I was rushed to the hospital. We told them I think I am having a miscarriage, they got me back right away even though it seemed like for ever. They did a urine test to make sure I was pregnant, which that showed positive. Then they did a ultrasound but nothing showed on it. Just an empty spot on the screen. Then at 7am is when they finally decided to do an internal ultrasound. They were able to find the baby sac, and there was no heart beat. My heart was shattered into a million pieces. I didn't know if I wanted to cry or just shut down completely. I was discharged from the hospital and sent home to relax until I completely lost the baby. The pain was indescribable.

I felt so lost, I didn't know what was right or left, up or down. I am finding ways to cope with the lost, even two years later. Still feels like yesterday when it all happened.

If anyone is going through what I went through, don't be shy, contact me and I will be your person to talk to.

http://www.myforeverchild.com/

visit that website they have awesome jewelry to help cope with a lost of a child.